My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
