he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
