I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize