sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
