Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
