I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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