Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
