since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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