Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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