i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How many fucks given?
0.12846
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
