my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
