She is in my trunk
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
