I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
