Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
