He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
