it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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