I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
