There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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