ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
