there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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