Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
