he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
