One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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