She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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