@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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