I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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