So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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