I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
