so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
