why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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