What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
