Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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