Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
