hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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