jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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