There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
