you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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