Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
