I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
