What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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