I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
