Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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