High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
