So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
