Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
