i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
