is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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