The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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