Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
