I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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