Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
