I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
