I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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