weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
