I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
