bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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