There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
