She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
