sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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