Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize