i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
