I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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